The Dating Game
by Neng
Summary: The Dating Game, for yu Yu Hakusho characters (Note: Anyone who's actually seen this show, if you could just review with any details on it) til then, just read the beginning I have up....since I'm half asleep....


The Dating Game: Yu Yu Hakusho  
  
Bachelor #1: Kurama  
  
A/N: (Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I do own Neng, and I have never seen the dating game but have always wanted to do this. But not when I'm falling asleep on the keyboard)  
  
(Music starts to play in the background as the lights flicker on the set. The host, attempting to swat back her bushy black tail stares at the floor with her red eyes. The crowd cheers as the director gives the cue)  
  
Neng (surprised by directors yells) *drops microphone*:SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
(The audience cringes as the director has a glaring contest with Neng)  
  
Neng: Hello, welcome to the Dating Game! This is our first episode of the first edition with the main Spirit Detectives of Koenma.  
  
(Shouting is heard in the audience, "That's PRINCE Koenma")  
  
Neng: Today's contestant is Kurama! And since the biography for him is optional, let's continue!  
  
(The director has another glaring contest with Neng)  
  
Neng: And the lucky bachelorettes are, Botan! The not so grim Reaper!  
  
(Botan is seen waving frantically to the camera, and falls off her stool. Kurama looks at the wall awkwardly as the audience laughs)  
  
Neng (Oo): Next is, Koto, the sadistic optimist.  
  
(Koto smirks at Botan who rubs the bruise on her head).  
  
Neng (^^): And last, but not least is, Karasu! He makes things go boom!  
  
Kurama (OO): WHY is Karasu here? He's not a bachelorette!  
  
Karasu: Why Kurama, are you a yaoi-a-phobe?  
  
Kurama: Uhh..  
  
Neng: And we'll be right back after this commercial break!  
  
(Screen dims and returns with Genkai looking very solemn, with shacks surrounding her)  
  
Genkai: While all you dimwits sit on your asses all day there are children starving out there, so think twice about wasting food and money or you may be causing the death of these miserable wretches.  
  
*The camera turns around to see Hiei, bandages half falling off, and Koenma, with a broken pacifier and dirty hat on*  
  
Koenma: I'm suing for defamation of character. Where's Hiei?  
  
*Shacks are set ablaze as the camera-men start to scream in the background, Genkai and Koenma look at one another, then walk off*  
  
*The camera zooms back in on Neng*  
  
Neng (O.O): Was that fire? (^.^) Yay, my one true love!  
  
Director: *cough*Ahem*cough*  
  
Neng (pretends to be oblivious, strokes tail)  
  
Director: AHEM!  
  
Neng *glares*: Welcome back to the Dating Game! Here is out guest, Shuiichi, better known as Kurama!  
  
Kurama: As much as I love a good thing, why aren't there any rabid fan girls here?  
  
Neng: Fan-girls?  
  
Kurama (^^): You don't know what fan girls are? Continue, please Miss!  
  
Neng: Alright, start with your questions sir!  
  
Kurama: Alright, I love plants. My hobby is gardening, what are some hobbies of yours? Bachelorette Number one?  
  
Botan (^-^): I ride my oar for fun! And, when I'm really bored, I like to bother Yusuke or Koenma! *Botan's face grows dark, and her smile turns maniacal* (in a sinister voice) But one day, out of revenge, I WILL PESTER HIEI! AND tell Yukina-OOPS, almost got carried away there!  
  
Botan smiles cheerily again as Koto looks frightened, even though her seat is moved away from Botan as much as possible. Karasu just glances at Koto and she moves all the way next to Botan.  
  
Kurama (O.o): Um...Bachelorette 2?  
  
Koto (getting excited from the attention): I love hosting extremely violent shows, especially gut wrenching ones, where the fighters continue until one bashes out the brain of the other onto the ring floor, or grabs his heart still pounding from his chest, or (Koto gets TOO excited) makes them explode into a million blood drenched pieces.  
  
At this point Karasu, Kurama and Neng have the same expression.  
  
Kurama, Karasu, and Neng: O.O  
  
Botan (faultering): ^-^  
  
Kurama: Um, alright then...I value family very much----  
  
Kurama is cut off by Neng,  
  
Neng: Mr. Kurama, you skipped the third Bachelor  
  
Kurama: Neng, if I may call you that Miss, carefully consider that which you just said, because I am the Bachelor here.  
  
Director (turning red and glaring at Neng): *hissing under breath* all must go *fumes*  
  
Neng (O.O): Sorry, you have to ask him.  
  
Kurama (glaring): You  
  
Karasu: Who?  
  
Kurama: You!  
  
Karasu: Who is he referring to?  
  
Kurama: GOD DAMN YOU KARASU!  
  
Karasu: Oh, I suppose it's me then.  
  
Kurama (half passed out): *mumbling Yusuke-like things*  
  
Karasu: My hobbies include.....destroying things I like. Especially a certain fox...*Kurama looks panicked as Karasu ponders looking at Neng*...in fact..I thought this show would be stupid..I was only here because of my fox..but..your tail reminds me of him...and there's something about you..I like..(^^ maniacal smile)  
  
Neng (O.O): .....COMMERCIAL BREAK...  
  
Neng: Ok, make a choice Mr. Shuiichi. Because I'm impatient and want this episode done with.  
  
Kurama: .....I choose the host....  
  
Neng (oO): Blood thirsty, violence-crazed Koto it is!  
  
Kurama: No, this host of this show.....  
  
Neng (oO, looks around): ........  
  
Kurama (whips out business card): I think you'd be the perfect second member to the VKH! We'll have something to talk about! (^^)  
  
Neng (taking card nervously): V....K.........H?  
  
Kurama (inching away from Karasu): Victims of Karasu Harassment!  
  
Neng (looks at director who shakes his head sideways mouthing "No mixing business with pleasure"): Botan! What a lovely choice, sir! Enjoy your date, but then again we'll see if you do or not!  
  
Kurama (being rushed out the studio with Botan rubbing her head) (Oo): Am I *twitch* being rejected?  
  
~~~~~~~~At a café on their date~~~~~~~~~  
  
Botan chirps cheerfully, a little dazed from her concussion (^^): Wow Kurama, I'm so flattered that you chose me! But to be honest, I was hoping to just make a certain someone jealous!  
  
Kurama (staring at his tea, while his eyes grow lighter): Was I *twitch* rejected *twitch*?  
  
Botan (sighing, but still smiling): But then again I don't give a rat's ass what he thinks because I've been feeling funny since I got this concussion and it makes me feel like hurting people. All I do is help people, and what do I have to show for it? This! *jabs finger into bruise then winces in pain*  
  
Kurama *smog appearing around him* (stands up, eyes flash gold): I THE GREAT YOKO KURAMA, AM NOT 'REJECTED'  
  
Botan (standing up and joining in): And I, the Great Cheerful Grim Reaper, AM NOT ALWAYS HAPPY!  
  
Kurama sprouts fox ears and a tail and disappears along with various objects of high value (and shininess) leaving many shiny owners angry. But they weren't angry for long, because Botan went on a rampage with a metal bat and killed half their brain cells!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Back in Studio, (which is on fire)~~~~~~~~~  
  
Director *cowers behind camera-man*: Now, now Neng.....  
  
Neng *glaring* (sets random things on fire to hysterical laughter in background): You! You just cost me a date with a kleptomaniac fox, a very, very PRETTY KLEPTOMANIAC FOX!  
  
Director: Now, now.....business and-------  
  
Neng *sprinting*: RUN YOU LITTLE *******  
  
Koenma: I thought this was PG-13?  
  
The Director is running for his dear life as the studio falls apart. Hiei is the source of maniacal laughter in the background.  
  
Hiei *eyes glowing*: I like that pyromaniac's style......  
  
Camera-man *scratching head*: Who's going to end the show?  
  
Shishi stands up ready to volunteer but sits down when a nearby chair blows up and Karasu blurs onto the scene.  
  
Karasu: Today's episode was brought to you by.......the letter K and N. Why, you may ask? Well tune in next time, when I will take two foxes with names that start with that letter and lock them into a room together and force them to breed. Then I shall claim the child as my own, and sadly raise him because afterall.....I do so like his parents *nearby audience section blows up*  
  
Audience *shifts away from Karasu* (O.O): ............  
  
Karasu (^^): Farewell.............  
  
Jin (O.O):..........Tha's a sick son o' a bitch righ' ther'...........  
  
*A/N: Jin represents my anger towards the bastards who assigned homework during Mid-Terms....a-holes, they are..* 


End file.
